2012-1948= 64

This picture was taken in 1948 or 1949 at a base in North Carolina.
My dad on the left and oldest brother, Paul, on right.

Today, 1/3/12 would be my dad's 64th birthday. It is absolutely amazing to think that he would be so old. :)

For those readers who aren't aware, my dad passed away on June 12, 2002. He was an electrician and was working for a machinery company. On the morning of June 12, he was welding copper piping together on a ladder 20+ feet in the air and his ladder was hit by a forklift and he fell. He died a little bit later at Detroit  Receiving Hospital while in surgery from internal wounds from the fall.

It was an absolutely devastating day and it brought so much tragedy, sorrow and heartache to not only my immediate family - but to ALL of our family friends. My mom and dad were always so friendly, welcoming, loving, open, and supportive which allowed them to develop the most amazing circle of friends - I can only hope one day to have such amazing people in my life.

As I think back on who my dad was, I find it amazing how many adjectives I can come up with to describe him. He was a mountain of a man, a man's man. He was a big ex-Marine that I would be scared to cross - but inside I knew that he had a heart that would melt at the sight of me, do anything for his family, always double kiss my mom and worked very hard to show my brothers how to treat a woman.

I think it's only natural that I wonder, all the time, what life would be like if my dad were still here. It's so hard to picture and I don't even know if what I think would be accurate. The reality of it is that I will never know and I have completely accepted that. I have accepted the loss of my father - but I am proud of who I have evolved into today because of the devastation that my family has gone through.

One thing that I truly find humor in is assessing all of the technology that is out there today and thinking of how my dad would react to all of it. I chuckle thinking about my dad trying to use an iphone, ipad, kindle, etc. He would have to have his (ugly) glasses on and it would take him SO LONG to figure it out - even after reading the entire instructional booklet (probably on some vacation he and my mom would take). I love seeing older men with cell phones or other electronics and seeing them do the "peck-to-type" because I know that's how my dad would be. I love it.

This year marks 10 years that my dad has passed on into the next life and I can't even believe it has been so long - always feels like last Wednesday. I just finished reading Nikki Van Noy's So Much to Say - Dave Matthews Band and there was a section in it that really struck me. On page 63, there is a discussion about an interview Dave Matthews had with Rolling Stone in which he was discussing the impact of losing both his sister and his father and I loved his response:

"I think a lot of the reason my choruses include, 'Make the best of it' - or maybe 'Be grateful, anyway' - is because the different tragedies that hit our family were also an inspiration for me.  They make me want to live now, desperately - and to try to affect things positively."

I loved this because I feel this way and hopefully will continue to do so for the rest of my life.

Happy Birthday Daddy - Hope you're up there with all of your friends that have also left this world too soon. Enjoy some Bud Light, 18 holes of golf, some Mr. B's cigars, a flank steak, bocce ball and lots of smiles and laughter. (please, please don't wear the acid washed jeans and iridescent shirt) Love you very much and miss you every day, Jenay.





*My dad was an organ donor. Following his death, he had too many internal injuries and the only organ we were able to donate were his eyes. Please, please, please consider organ donation - it is an amazing way to help those less fortunate. You won't need your organs after you pass - why not help someone else? Visit this website to find out more information: http://organdonor.gov/